You Memmer

I want to know because I can't go to a God damned bar in a fifteen mile radius of my hometown without hearing "Don't Stop Believin'" at least twice a night. Not only that, but all the white people in the bar start singing that shit like it's the fucking National Anthem! Is it a requirement for being white to know the words to this song?

I mean, I'm actually half white, but my mom was never into music like this. At least, not since I've been around. She was more of a Luther Vandross gal.

I seriously feel uncomfortable when this shit comes on, though. I know the first couple lines because it sinks in after awhile, but I guess I just zone out during the rest. I feel like I'm gonna get exposed for not belonging to this secret society of Journey fanatics. I mean, if you throw on some Zapp, there's a high percentage of a chance that I will not only be singing along but also be trying to get some white girl to dance with me who thinks it's a new T-Pain song.

Still the question remains, why Journey? Their songs are catchy enough (well, they were the first hundred times or so), but I can think of a lot of '80s bands with catchy (if not catchier) songs that have half the following. It's not just the haggard folks hanging on to their '80s high school dreams, either. In fact, I see a lot of people from my generation jizzing their panties over this mess.

I don't even think I knew what the band looked like 'til I Google Imaged this picture for this post. Maybe their impeccable hair choices are white people's kryptonite. For my people, it usually involves a fade, slickback or some variation of AquaNet.